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Dr. Evil

Welcome to my online lair

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanise, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts for being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed  in a burlap bag and beaten with reads. Pretty standard really. At the age of Twelve I received me first scribe. At the age of fifteen, as a Zoroastrian named Vilma I ritualistically shaved me testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum I suggest you try it. At the age of eighteen I went off to evil medical school.

Ok , listen up. Here are the first five files you can download, ok. You hungry ? Not even a hot pocket ? An eggo ?



apefrickin(13k)  :"I've been a frickin evil doctor for....."
apeinconsequential(27k)  :"The details of my life....."
apeshh(58k)  :-The complete shhh - sequence
apethrowbone(19k)  :"Throw me a frickin bone here "
apezipit (98k)  :-The complete zipit - sequence


Scott Evil: I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.
Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily like his old man.



Dr. Evil sound clips from "The Spy Who Shagged Me "

Dr.Evil ∓ the missus
APEdaddydoes : Dr. Evil and Scott
APEdethstar : Dr. Evil and Scott
APEdietevil : Dr. Evil telling Scott how evil Scott is
APEhumplazer : Dr. Evil speaking to Mini-Me
APEmojo : Dr. Evil describes Austin Powers' mojo

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